Stinky
by Adreus
Summary: Sick and tired of being seen as effeminate and delicate, Marth asks two experts on how to be... manly. —Marth, Ike, Snake.


**Notes: **I have not written Smash fic in _forever_. I don't like this one that much, either. It feels so... bland. Underdone. Critique, please?

_Super Smash Bros. Brawl _and _Metal Gear Solid _are property of Nintendo Co. Ltd. and Konami, respectively. I claim no rights.

* * *

_Stinky_

It was late. It was dark. Across the hall, he could smell the oddest combination of burnt meat and cigarette smoke. Snake and Ike were most obviously awake, late past midnight, doing something or another that they couldn't just do in front of everyone.

This smell, annoyingly enough, kept Marth awake _all night._

But it wasn't just the scent - it was what the scent meant to others. These two smells - meat and smoke - were they _really_ what made everyone find Snake and Ike masculine? He himself smelled much like lilac. He found it much more appealing, and rather _liked_ being able to say that he took the time to make an impression.

...

Even if this impression was that he was effeminate.

...

Really! It wasn't like he _minded_ being asked politely by various newcomers if he was male or female. (Or even impolitely by Wario, who afterwards poked fun at him.)

He heard a loud whoop from the room of apparently masculinity. A gruff voice, judging from the tone of which was Snake's.

"This is Marth," Marth tested his own voice, "I'm done here."

... He didn't sound delicate! Not at all! What was Wolf talking about?!

...

"I fight for my friends."

The mattress groaned when Marth sat up and sighed, pulling on his night robe. He took a quick look into the mirror to see if he was presentable, stood, and walked out the door.

* * *

Snake's door, Marth decided the next night, was very intimidating.

"You okay?" Ike's voice startled Marth out of his stupor. He had been under the impression that Ike wasn't even going to bother coming to their shared room tonight, as he always headed straight to Snake's anyway. "You look paler than usual."

His face definitely wasn't getting pink. Nope.

"I'm fine," Marth replied. "Aren't you going to Snake's tonight?" He didn't mean to sound rude, but the immediate guilt didn't make him feel any less relieved when Ike nodded.

"I'm going now," Ike said. "Night." And he left.

Marth had not yet changed into his night clothes. He had different plans tonight. This morning, he had once again been accused of looking "extremely weak" and had been underestimated once more, and Marth had decided that he wasn't about to take this any longer.

Marth stood on his feet, thrust the door open, and walked straight over to Snake's door. Snake's... intimidating. Door.

Marth took in a breath, tried not to choke from all the smoke, and knocked once.

He waited.

No answer.

Marth knocked again. "Hey. Snake? Ike?"

He heard heavy footsteps coming closer to the door and finally it clicked open, revealing Ike at the handle and Snake farther behind him on the floor, lighting a new cigarette.

"Marth?" asked Ike, "What is it?" Ike had taken off his cape and set it on Snake's chair.

"It's Marth, is it?" Marth heard Snake say, "I thought it might've been that Lucas kid again." Ike snorted. Marth felt insulted and wanted to defend himself, but decided against it.

"May I ask a favor of you two?" Marth asked in what he hoped wasn't a timid voice.

Ike looked at Snake, who nodded, and then back at Marth again. Arching his eyebrows, Ike said, "Go for it."

"I need advice," Marth said slowly, "on being more... manly."

There was silence. Ike blinked. Snake took a whiff of his cigarette, and looked Marth in the eye. "You're serious?"

Gulping, Marth nodded.

Snake stood. He went up to Marth and took a hand through the boy's hair. It was a few seconds before Marth realized his tiara was no longer on his head. Snake shoved it in Marth's hands.

"Don't let me see it again."

Marth let out a small laugh, took a step further into the room, tried not to cough, and nodded enthusiastically. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Ike smirked and locked the door behind them.

* * *

The hair, Zelda noted. What _happened_?

The stance, Peach pointed out. Marth's usual grace had been replaced by bluntness.

Was that a _cigar_? was what Samus was wondering.

Ike took another bite of his chicken and gave Snake a side glance before turning his attention back to their pupil. Marth stood tall with his barely touched, unscented hair, a boyish grin on his face as nearly everyone marvelled at his newfound masculinity.

"We've done good, Snake," Ike decided. Snake let out a laugh and took another whiff of his always cigarette. Frowning, Ike snatched it out of his hand. "You really shouldn't." Snake eyed him carefully before rolling his eyes and grabbing Ike's own addiction. Ike stared. Snake took a bite. Ike shrugged and took a whiff of Snake's cigarette as revenge.

What with him, Snake, _and_ the newly addicted Marth, their corner might stink more than usual that night.


End file.
